Phone: 858.534.8484
Fax: 858.534.5739

Email: kfong at ucsd.edu

Many people say to me, "I'd really like to work in show business but I don't know which job is best for me." I've developed a baseball analogy to give people a sense of what they might be best suited for.

It's the bottom of the ninth, the score is tied, and the other team has the bases loaded with two outs and you're playing shortstop.

If you're thinking:

Hit the ball to me. I'll handle it. You should be a director.

The crowd's on their feet. They're looking at me. You should be an actor.

It's a great game, but the stadium's only half filled. You should be a producer.

There will be a ground ball hit in the hole, I'll do a somersault, bare hand the ball as I'm flipping over, land on one foot, pivot and make a perfect throw to first base. You should be a stunt man.

A hard ground ball will take a bad bounce and hit me in the mouth, but it'll drop in front of me, I'll grab the ball and as I spit blood, I'll tag the runner out. You should be a writer.

I hope they hit it to left field because that clown out there will miss it, get benched and I can get my cousin the job as the left fielder. You should be an agent.

God it's a tight game. I better fake an appendicitis attack and have them put a substitute in for me right now so if we lose the game it won't be my fault. You should be a television network boss.

What a tight game. For this kind of stress I have to ask for more money. You should be a professional baseball player.